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May 2005

May 31, 2005

I've been getting more and more depressed each day for the last four days (making today the fifth and worst day of depression), and it's really been fucking me up. I haven't been able to get anything accomplished; I've been irritable; I've been sad and weepy; I've been massively negatively introspective; and I've been sick of even getting out of bed, let alone doing anything else. Today was the culmination of days worth of building depression, and it made for a bad day in a lot of ways.

I headed out for Toledo early this afternoon, determined to get things done and see things and people I've wanted to see. I drove the hour to Toledo thinking, which didn't help my depression any, and then quickly wrapped up my errands around town. Then I went on a drive to see how things have progressed in: the construction of the new I-280 bridge; the improvements to my old abode, the Collingwood Arts Center; and the the construction of the new Glass Pavilionof the Toledo Museum of Art. It was interesting to see that things have moved forward, but I was disappointed to see that there was so little progress on each project since I had last seen them. Maybe I expect too much, and maybe my depressed state of mind simply couldn't view these things in a positive light, but seeing them crawling along just seemed sad.

From there I headed to the Westfield Franklin Park Mall, which just recently opened it's expansion and completed its mall-wide remodel. On the way I noticed a number of buildings have been repainted here and there. The effect of a clean, even new coloring was great in each case, but the color was invariably brown. Brown? Is brown the new black? It was usually a light brown, like a muddy tan color, and, like I said, it was nice to see the fresh coat of paint, but brown was hardly a choice I would have made for any of these buildings. It was just drab - and this from me, who prefers earth tones above just about anything else. Anyhow, many buildings were cleaned up or quite new as I drove to the mall, and that was nice to see, suggesting that things are improving in Toledo.

The new changes to the mall were clearly examples that things were at least going well at Franklin Park. Outside things looked better all around the mall (except what used to be the old grand entrance but has been remade in an ugly fashion), and the addition of new parking decks and a completely repaved and remade parking lot around the whole mall made things outside seem like the whole mall was brand new. Inside seemed brand new in many ways as well. The changes, even in the older sections, were significant. The mall is attractive and airy and bright, but it has followed the same trend that has been building in Franklin Park for years, the snobbish elimination of "common" stores in favor of up-scale stores wherever you turn. In fact it is so bad now that the mall no longer feels like Franklin Park and seems like some different, much more pretentious mall where people go to show off rather than shop for anything they really need. It was sad, really, a display of all of the worst aspects of capitalism and vanity, and it's a damn shame. Franklin Park once was like the perfect mall in my mind, but that has now completely faded.

The most significant thing about my visit to the mall was both the best and the worst part of my day. There were all sorts of totally cute and huggable guys all over the place, looking fantastic, and while it was wonderful to watch them and silently drool, it was terribly depressing as well - maybe moreso. Looking at them just emphasized that I'm alone and that I can't ever hope to be attractive enough or funny enough or charming enough to win over anybody that has such good looks and confidence and composure. Looking at those guys really brought me down, sinking me to the lowest point I'd been all week, and I got myself out of there very quickly.

I drove around a little more and checked things out in the area. I stopped into Media Play and found that there's a new book out by Gregory Maguire, one of my favorite contemporary authors, and I couldn't resist buying it for some good entertainment later (this one is called Mirror, Mirror, and it retells the "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves" story with a twist - it looks good). I checked things out at a couple other places and had some dinner, again having too much time to just sit and think, and at 6 PM I made my way to meet up with Steve and Mark and their gaming group.

Steve had invited me to join the group a while ago, and considering he is reviving a fantasy role-playing campaign we had played about seven years ago (which stopped abruptly at the time), I was interested to get involved. I had been questioning myself all day about whether it was fair for me to go to the game being so depressed, and I considered backing out a number of times, but in the end it was great that I went. From the moment I walked through the door Mark was joking around with me and making me feel welcome and happy, and as the game progressed I just felt better and better. Part of the time was spent getting me up to speed on things and the rest of the time was slow progress into a magician's tower with a lot of role-playing and very little combat. It was great fun, though, and I'm energized to continue being part of the group, even if it means driving to Toledo each week to do so. It's relaxing, and it spurs my imagination like nothing else. And while I'm not completely out of my depression, I've come a long way toward breaking free of this round of sadness.

Steve and I talked for an hour and a half after everyone else left, a bit about the game but mostly about politics. It was good to have some good conversation, too, and Steve always makes me think. By the time I left well after Midnight I was feeling very glad I didn't back out of the game. It was very rewarding, and hopefully will have the same effect on me in the future. That would be a huge plus.

Posted Written at 3:01 AM

May 30, 2005

Being alive sucks. Why does it have to just keep going like this anyhow? It just keeps sucking or gets worse, and I'm tired of the effort it takes. So very tired.

Posted at 10:47 PM

May 29, 2005

Imagine you with firm, tight abs in thirty days. Imagine whatever you want. Reality is a different matter.

Posted at 2:38 AM

May 28, 2005

Who's a cheeky monkey?

Posted at 11:13 PM

May 27, 2005

I reached my tolerance level for dust, dirt, filth, hard labor, frustration, and drudgery today. I've been driving myself for three weeks now, and I had to break sooner or later. I ran my grandma around on errands, shopped for groceries, and worked on building a database of all of my CDs, records, tapes, Videos, DVDs, and computer programs in the Delicious Library, a beautiful little piece of software from Delicious Monster Software. As much as I appreciate Delicious Library and love the easy input systems they've created, it still is a tedious process and requires a lot of work to get it going - more work than I'd expected, honestly. I can live with more work considering the end result is worth it - but just not today.

So I played a little Civilization III, got bored with that quickly, and switched to playing Rise of Nations until about Midnight (I ruled - literally). I'm much more at ease now, although I am tired. I may give tomorrow over to rest and relaxation, too, because I'm honestly burnt out and need a break if I'm not going to hate every minute of working later on the things that need to get done. "All work and no play," you know. Anyhow, that's it for me today. A man can only take so much.

Posted Written at 12:42 AM

May 26, 2005

It's funny because it's true.

Intel CEO Otellini: If you want security now, buy a Macintosh instead of a Wintel PC

On Tuesday at the The Wall Street Journal's D: All Things Digital conference, Paul Otellini, the new CEO of Intel, addressed security problems affecting the Wintel platform.

"Mr. Otellini ran down a series of hardware-based steps designed to improve security, articulating a vision of "virtualization" technology that keeps a virtual machine built into a PC isolated, and thus safer from attack, hardens that machine against hazards, and provides for remote repair after an attack," Jason Fry reports for The Wall Street Journal.

"But asked when such solutions would be available to mainstream users and usable by them, Mr. Otellini said 'I think we're still a few years away.' The problem can't be solved by hardware alone, he noted -- hardware solutions take years to be adopted, and remote recovery of a PC, for example, will require service providers to offer that," Fry reports.

Fry reports, "Pressed about security by Mr. Mossberg, Mr. Otellini had a startling confession: He spends an hour a weekend removing spyware from his daughter's computer. And when further pressed about whether a mainstream computer user in search of immediate safety from security woes ought to buy Apple Computer Inc.'s Macintosh instead of a Wintel PC, he said, 'If you want to fix it tomorrow, maybe you should buy something else.'"

Full Wall Street Journal article here.

Posted at 10:24 PM

May 25, 2005

And the insanity goes on ...

Drinking in this country - alcoholic drinking - is massively out of control, but it is completely socially acceptable and is invariably seen as an excuse for intolerable behavior. See that guy fall off his chair? That's okay, he's drunk. See that guy tell the whole bar how he loves them all? That's okay, he's drunk. See that guy who gets in a bar fight? That's not his fault, he's just drunk. See that guy beat his wife? That's not him being abusive, he's just drunk. See that guy raping his daughter? He doesn't know what he's doing, he's just drunk. See that guy kill his best friend in his car? He shouldn't be held accountable, he's just drunk. You might say I'm just exaggerating, but I'm not. You might say I'm making a big deal of this, and I am. Somebody has to.

Marijuana and other drugs are illegal yet all forms of alcohol continue to remain readily available. The people of this nation by and large have a huge drinking problem, and we have alcoholics and binge drinkers and drunk drivers here more than in just about any other country. Yet alcohol is never looked down upon, and alcoholics or drunks are rarely held accountable for their actions (or at least they're rarely given more than a slap on the wrist for what they do). These people aren't funny, they aren't "only hurting themselves and no one else", they are a menace. Alcohol is the reason here, but the victim is not the drunk; the victim is the victim of the drunk. Both the alcohol and the drunk need to be held accountable, and in the larger forum alcohol needs to be seen as the destructive agent that it is, a drug that causes more harm to society than all other drugs combined.

The U.S. needs to face this problem and deal with it, not just pass it off as insignificant as they always do. I am absolutely sick of this same simple dismissal of the destructiveness of alcohol. Get a clue, Americans. You're just setting yourself up to be the next victim.

Jail for Driver Who Decapitated Friend

MARIETTA, Georgia (AP) -- A drunken driver who veered off the road and decapitated a friend was sentenced to five years in prison Wednesday.

John Kemper Hutcherson, 21, pleaded guilty to vehicular homicide in the death last August of 23-year-old Frankie Brohm, whose head was severed when the car grazed a telephone pole support wire.

The two men were on their way home from a bar after a night of drinking when Brohm stuck his head out the window because he thought he was going to be sick, authorities said.

Police said Hutcherson was apparently unaware his friend had been decapitated -- and drove more than 10 miles to his parents' home, where he went inside and fell asleep with the headless body still in his truck.

A neighbor discovered the body the next morning.

Investigators said Hutcherson's blood-alcohol level was probably more than twice the legal limit at the time of the accident.

Brohm's family had asked for leniency for Hutcherson, who was the victim's childhood friend.

Posted Written at 12:22 AM

May 24, 2005

What kind of an idiot washes windows in the rain?

Uh ... do I have to answer that one?

Posted at 12:01 AM

May 23, 2005

Season finalies, boy I tell you. They sure are a mixed bag. Jack and Bobby's close was amazing, and I'm very sad that the show has been cancelled. It was incredibly well written and wonderfully acted, and it had a very fresh approach to storytelling that was a nice change from other tv offerings. The Smallville finale was even more amazing and had an incredible cliffhanger. Next season will clearly see a massive shift in the way this story is told, both due to the end of Clark's time in high school and due to the revelations faced by virtually the entire cast. Tonight, the 7th Heaven finale was such dopey drama that I once again wonder why I still watch that show. It's not even because David Gallagher is so cute because he's looked almost creepy for this whole past season with his nearly-shaved head shorn of those beautiful golden locks. The Everwood finale, also tonight, was much better and consisting of much less dopey drama than I had expected (there was still huge amounts of drama, but it was done very well and restores my admiration of the writing in this show). I have taped the last two hours of 24 and will be watching that in a few minutes, and I expect that it will close out a whirlwind of action and suspense, just like every season of 24 has done - this show is really some of the best tv around, and that's high praise from me because I usually don't like cop shows or action dramas at all). Those are the only season finales that I've watched. I really don't watch a whole lot of tv, and I'm pretty selective about what I do watch in general. Doctor Who isn't even up to mid-season yet, and Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis will be back with new seasons starting in July (along with new Battlestar Galactica, but that show became so much of a soap opera and so little of a sci-fi show that I have no intention of wasting my time with it when the new season starts up. How the writers could have fucked that show up and made it so incredibly boring os beyond me).

Anyhow, with tonight's season finales I'll be in tv limbo for about another month and a half. Only Doctor Who will have new episodes during that time. Maybe that means I'll get more stuff done since there won't be primetime shows to watch. Maybe. I won't count on that. It's been a mixed bag though, to be sure. Some great, some really crappy, and some great stuff that got cancelled. Go figure.

Posted at 10:14 PM

May 22, 2005

After a whole day of being tired, stiff, and thirsty, I think I'm finally just about recovered from yesterday's garage sale activities. I got some work done in my continuing project to update and organize my computer (something I'll discuss in greater detail in a few days, when the first phase of the project should be done), but mostly I napped and dragged myself around all day. I think I may have had a mild case of heat prostration or something, actually. I'm better now, though. But I'm ready for a solid night of sleep again, even with my naps. Am I getting old or what?

Posted at 1:31 AM

May 21, 2005

Today was the neighborhood garage sale, a one-day, 9 to whenever affair that involved about a dozen of the families on our block. As is typical for any garage sale, people began to arrive a few hours before the sale is listed as starting, that meaning that as I was pulling things out at 7AM there were people trying to look over everything while it was still in my hands. This became sort of the routine for the better part of the day considering I hadn't priced any of the items in the huge pile of things I'd had in the basement. I would run downstairs, grab a bundle of goods or a box of stuff, take them outside, take care of whomever was waiting from while I was briefly downstairs, then price the stuff I'd brought up and set it around on the motley assemblage of make-shift tables I'd created. Then I'd do the whole process again. I kept doing this until about 3 PM, believe it or not, and as a result I managed to price most (although not all) of thee stuff I had set aside to sell.

There is much of the stuff, obviously, that didn't even come out of the house until many of the shoppers had been and gone, so there is still a lot to be sold. Also, there's all sorts of stuff I wanted to put together that wasn't in the "pile" I'd developed in the basement. There's stuff here and there throughout the house that I intended to sell but hadn't had the time to gather or clean or price. Those things will join the stuff that was left when we gave up today at 5PM or so.

Yes, that means I'll be doing this again soon. In fact, I chatted with various neighbors, and most all of them were interested in hauling things out again in two weeks (which is when I had suggested). This next time will be a Friday through Sunday deal, not just a one-day run, so it will hopefully see even more stuff purchased and hauled away.

There is a huge dent out of what I had gathered, though. More than a dent even - more like maybe half of the overall physical volume of stuff that was out was sold. I made $336 for my less than ten hours of work today, so I'm pleased. I'd hoped for more, but $300 bucks for a single day of a garage sale is nothing to complain about. Hopefully I'd do as well or even a bit better cash-wise in the next sale, but we'll just have to wait and see. There's all sorts of stuff that still needs to go, and now that I've priced this main base of stuff, I shouldn't have a huge problem sorting out the new stuff to add. Plus I have two weeks to sort things out. That should give me a good deal of breathing space considering I only had two weeks since classes ended and I've done a whole bunch of stuff with the yard and the house and my grandma and my computer and stuff in addition to sorting out some of this a garage sale stuff. In fact the next two weeks should be a piece of cake compared to the frenzied day-to-day rushes of the past two weeks.

For now, my achy body is liking the idea of sleep. I was up at 5AM this morning, and I spent all day on my feet and running around madly. I'm quite ready to collapse, thank you.

Posted at 11:29 PM

May 20, 2005

Regardless of the fact that I got a lot done today, none of what I completed was what I intended and needed to complete - notably the garage sale stuff was not prepared, meaning that I have next to nothing ready for tomorrow. That and a few immensely unexpected, frustrating, and time consuming fiascos (contributing to me not eating dinner until 10 PM) have given me a huge headache, major neck tension, and a near ulcerous stomach.

This was the one amusing, happy respite from my otherwise crappy day.

Posted at 10:34 PM

May 19, 2005

The garage sale is still two days away and already I want to kill myself rather than suffer through any more of this nightmare. As much as I need to get rid of stuff and desperately need to make money, running a garage sale is (and always has been) more torturous than just about anything else. Worst of all I suspect that the end results of all of this will be far less than worthwhile. Hopefully my cynical expectations will be proved incredibly wrong.

Posted at 11:49 PM

May 18, 2005

You are so lucky. You don't have my life. Appreciate your good fortune.

Posted at 11:33 PM

May 17, 2005

So far this summer I've been running from one job/task/endeavor to the next in almost a frenzy, trying to get all sorts of stuff done and filling my days with work and weariness rather than a welcomed break after a harsh semester of classes. Even now, over a week and a half after exam week finished, I'm finding myself constantly on the move trying to get things done. In theory this will all pay of by the end of the month or maybe the middle of June - by then I'll have (hopefully) just about everything done that needs to be done this summer, leaving me the rest of the summer for my two big projects: grad school apps and essays and the stories I'll be heavily revising for my Senior Thesis (and also for my grad school writing samples).

Part of me is happy to see so much getting accomplished, but part of me wants to rest and relax. I'm fighting the urge to relax, but I'm certainly hoping the next week or two will indeed see things largely wrapped up. That would be wonderfully accepted. For now I'm tired, and it's no real surprise. Sleep will come easily tonight.

Posted at 11:55 PM

May 16, 2005

I've had a very shitty last four days (where seemingly everything has gone wrong), but today seems to be breaking the cycle a bit. In just today I have seen the updating of the landscaping in the yard completed; I've arranged for the house to be extensively cleaned (on the outside) on Thursday; I've finalized a good estimate for painting projects that will fix up the few ailing aspects of the outside of the house; I've found and purchased hard-to-locate replacement blades for a rechargeable hard grass trimmer that I use to trim the edges of the lawn; I've had the A/C system checked and cleaned for the coming season; I got my grandma to finally go back to the YMCA for some exercise and socialization; I also got her to a massage therapy appointment to looser her up; I found a way to stop the rabbits in the neighborhood from eating my plants (tobasco sauce, strangely enough) and I've put the sauce into effect; I've washed laundry; and I got a number of small tasks done as well. Most importantly, though, I made some serious headway in getting my computer update to flow more smoothly and progress nicely.

Yesterday I started updating my Powerbook to the new version of Apple's Mac OS X - Tiger. I went for a completely clean install, and while the installation process itself went quickly and flawlessly, I had a little trouble using files on some of the new apps. The problem for the most part was indirectly mine - my backup files on two of my three backup sources were older versions of those files, not up-to-date versions. After figuring that out today and getting things in place, that smoothed out most of the problems. I still have a problem with the address book that is stumping me, but everything other than that has migrated just fine.

The new OS is clean and snappy, too, running fast and having a bunch of cool new features. I'm enjoying it quite a bit and I've barely had time to play with all of the new features since I'm trying to get all of the installing and stuff done so that my Powerbook will be fully developed the way I like. Another day (or maybe a bit more) and I should have it all beautifully finished, and then I'll be back to hard labor as I get ready for the neighborhood garage sale (which was cancelled last weekend due to rain).

Today has gone a long way toward making me feel less downtrodden by the crap that came down during the last four days. Hopefully this won't be a fleeting thing. I could use all of the positive news and stuff that I can find.

Posted at 11:35 PM

May 15, 2005

Why the hell is it that once a few things turn out bad then everything always has to go wrong without exception? The old adage "When it rains it pours" simply fails to explain the magnitude of all of this.

Posted at 12:31 AM

May 14, 2005

I have been making comparisons for quite a while between Nazi Germany and the Bush administration, and while Bush and Karl Rove have been phenomenally like Hitler and Herman Goering, the comparisons don't stop with their political machinations and their propaganda. Far from it. In fact a huge part of the overall comparison is the change in religious conservatism that led to the rule of fascism in Germany in the 1920s and 1930s and is now leading to ... well, something ugly that we can't really define just yet, although it already looks a lot like fascism. I'm not the only person to see the similarities and make the comparisons, and this recent New York Times essay agrees with my concerns completely.

Church Meets State

EVERYONE, it seems, wants to get religion. Since the re-election of George W. Bush our magazines and newspapers have been playing catch-up, running long articles on the evangelicals and fundamentalists, an alien world the press typically ignores. Anxious Democratic strategists have issued pleas to find common ground with the religious center on issues like abortion, and elected officials have dutifully begun baring their souls in public. This is a media bubble, and like all bubbles it will burst. Far more interesting and consequential has been the effort to reinterpret history to give religion a more central place in America's past -- and, perhaps, in its future.

At the low end there is the schlock history written by religious propagandists like David Barton, the author of the bizarre pastiche ''The Myth of Separation,'' who use selective quotations out of context to suggest that the framers were inspired believers who thought they were founding a Christian nation. But there is also serious work being done by historians like Mark Noll and George Marsden to counter the tendency in American historiography to rummage through the past for anticipations of our secular, egalitarian, multicultural present. This is a useful corrective and reminds us that the role of religion in American life was large and the separation of church and state less clear than today.

At the highest end there has been a new scholarly look at the history of the modern political ideas that eventually put America on its special path. The best example is Gertrude Himmelfarb's important study, ''The Roads to Modernity.'' Here the argument is that, unlike the anticlerical philosophes of the French Enlightenment, the British and American thinkers of the 18th century looked favorably on religion as a support to modern democracy. They saw that it could assist in forming good citizens by providing moral education and helping people be self-reliant. By teaching people to work, save and give, religion could prove a ballast to the self-destructive tendencies of both capitalism and democracy. There is, therefore, nothing antimodern or even antiliberal in encouraging American religion and making room for it in public life.

As intellectual history, this is a sound thesis. It is, however, incomplete, which is why we should be wary of drawing contemporary lessons from it. In truth, the leaders of the British and American Enlightenments shared the same hope as the French lumières: that the centuries-old struggle between church and state could be brought to an end, and along with it the fanaticism, superstition and obscurantism into which Christian culture had sunk. What distinguished thinkers like David Hume and John Adams from their French counterparts was not their ultimate aims; it was their understanding of religious psychology. The British and Americans made two wagers. The first was that religious sects, if they were guaranteed liberty, would grow attached to liberal democracy and obey its norms. The second was that entering the public square would liberalize them doctrinally, that they would become less credulous and dogmatic, more sober and rational.

The first wager is well known, the second less so -- though it is probably the more important one. In fact, it is difficult to imagine the relative peace of American church-state relations without the liberalization of Protestant theology in the 19th century. ''Liberal'' in the theological sense means several things. It includes a critical approach to Scripture as a historical document, an openness to modern science, a turn from public ritual to private belief and a search for common ground in the Bible's moral message. Theological liberalism drew from many sources -- the English deists, Rousseau's romanticism, the philosophical idealism of Kant and Hegel. And thanks to Friedrich Schleiermacher and his 19th-century disciples it became the dominant school of Protestant theology, first in Germany, then in Britain and the United States. To many it appeared to fulfill the hope of a modern, reformed Christianity helping to shape citizens in modern, liberal-democratic polities.

But theological liberalism collapsed suddenly and dramatically in early 20th-century Germany, for reasons Americans would do well to ponder. The crisis was essentially spiritual but had wide political reverberations. Thinkers and ordinary believers began yearning for a more dynamic and critical faith, one that would stand in judgment over the modern world, not lend it support. They sought an authentic experience with the divine, genuine spiritual solace and a clear understanding of the one path to salvation. And what did liberal Protestantism teach? In the words of H. Richard Niebuhr, that ''a God without wrath brought men without sin into a kingdom without judgment through the ministrations of a Christ without a cross.'' And if that was the case, why be a Christian at all?

The carnage of World War I seemed to answer that question. The lesson drawn was that Christianity had been seduced by bourgeois, democratic society when it should have been bringing God's judgment down upon it. The liberal movement fell apart during the Weimar period, and from its ashes sprouted a wild array of religious tendencies, some ecstatic and mystical, some politically driven. Those who were politically engaged could be found all over the map, from the socialist left to the fascist right -- everywhere, it seemed, but in the liberal-democratic center.

If this story sounds somewhat familiar, it should. After the last Great Awakening at the end of the 19th century, liberal theology made steady gains in all the mainline American churches, and by the 1950's it represented the consensus within Protestantism, and was also softening the edges of American Catholicism and Judaism. Yet it, too, has now collapsed. Over the past 30 years we have seen the steady decline of mainline faiths and the upsurge of evangelical, Pentecostal, charismatic and ''neo-orthodox'' movements -- not only among Protestants but among Catholics and Jews as well. Politics played a large role in this, especially divisions over the Vietnam War and the cultural transformations since the 1960's. But the deepest dynamics were again spiritual.

It appears that there are limits to the liberalization of biblical religion. The more the Bible is treated as a historical document, the more its message is interpreted in universalist terms, the more the churches sanctify the political and cultural order, the less hold liberal religion will eventually have on the hearts and minds of believers. This dynamic is particularly pronounced in Protestantism, which heightens the theological tension brought on by being in the world but not of it. Liberal religion imagines a pacified order in which good citizenship, good morals and rational belief coexist harmoniously. It is therefore unprepared when the messianic and eschatological forces of biblical faith begin to stir.

The leading thinkers of the British and American Enlightenments hoped that life in a modern democratic order would shift the focus of Christianity from a faith-based reality to a reality-based faith. American religion is moving in the opposite direction today, back toward the ecstatic, literalist and credulous spirit of the Great Awakenings. Its most disturbing manifestations are not political, at least not yet. They are cultural. The fascination with the ''end times,'' the belief in personal (and self-serving) miracles, the ignorance of basic science and history, the demonization of popular culture, the censoring of textbooks, the separatist instincts of the home-schooling movement -- all these developments are far more worrying in the long term than the loss of a few Congressional seats.

No one can know how long this dumbing-down of American religion will persist. But so long as it does, citizens should probably be more vigilant about policing the public square, not less so. If there is anything David Hume and John Adams understood, it is that you cannot sustain liberal democracy without cultivating liberal habits of mind among religious believers. That remains true today, both in Baghdad and in Baton Rouge.

Posted at 11:41 PM

May 13, 2005

Good riddance Scott Bakula.

Enterprise, the most recent and now last Star Trek series, concluded tonight. I half-watched the two-hour finish while playing on the computer, and I was only barely interested. That was always my response to Enterprise - it was generally boring or stupid. Regardless of the great special effects, the dopey plots, bad writing, and clunky acting made this the worst Trek foray yet. Scott Bakula, whom I've never liked in anything (and whom I absolutely reviled in Quantum Leap, a show I couldn't stand) was typical of the boring/annoying regular cast. I would try to watch the series now and again, but it honestly just drove me away, and this from a hearty Trek fan.

More than Scott Bakula the blame for this abominable prequel to all things Trek goes to Rick Berman, the head honcho for all of the Trek series after creator Gene Roddenberry's death. Whereas Roddenberry had an optimistic dreamworld view of a gilded future where humanity became much more compassionate, dynamic, and noble, Berman changed the Trek universe into a place where mankind fell back into its worst aspects - greed, fear, hatred, discrimination, self-righteousness, and a quickness to war. The grand vision of Trek has been sullied and nearly obscured by Berman, and even the vast army of Trekkies wasn't devoted enough to support Berman's most depraved Trek spinoff of all.

Enterprise deserves to end, and hopefully Bakula and Berman will quietly disappear somewhere forever. Eventually Trek is sure to return in some new form. After some amount of a break it could very well shake itself of what has made it so bad, possibly offering a new series that deserves acclaim for its vision and spirit. But that would surely be something devoid of Bakula and Berman - and it may be years before it comes to light. For now I simply say good riddance. This is a show that will certainly not be missed.

Posted at 2:50 AM

May 12, 2005

I've gotta go wee.
Weeeeeeeee!!!!!!

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A life-like prosthetic penis called the Whizzinator and other products promising to help illegal drug users pass urine tests provoked U.S. lawmakers on Wednesday to take legal action with subpoenas of manufacturers.
ADVERTISEMENT

Lawmakers objected to attempts to circumvent drug tests with products such as The Whizzinator, a fake penis that can provide a flow of clean urine "again and again, anytime, anywhere you need it!" according to the Web site www.whizzinator.com.

A congressional subcommittee voted to subpoena the owner of Puck Technology of Signal Hill, California, the company that makes the Whizzinator. The panel also voted to subpoena the owners of Health Choice of New York City and Spectrum Labs of Cincinnati, two companies that lawmakers said also were suspected of selling products aimed at circumventing workplace drug tests.

The owners were required to provide financial and operational records by Monday and to appear at a congressional hearing on Tuesday.

"These companies seek through deception to make a buck by violating our trust and compromising our security," said Rep. Ed Whitfield, a Kentucky Republican who chairs the House Energy and Commerce Committee's oversight and investigations panel.

"It is a risk we simply cannot tolerate. This panel will uncover how widespread these products are and recommend the necessary steps to end their use," Whitfield said in a statement.

Actor Tom Sizemore, who played a sergeant in the war movie "Saving Private Ryan," was caught using the Whizzinator to try and pass drug tests, California prosecutors said in February. He was put in jail after using a similar device and failing a drug test, prosecutors said.

DRINKS TO FLUSH DRUGS

The House committee is investigating whether federal legislation is needed to stop companies from making similar products, such as drinks that promise to flush out drug ingredients in urine.

The company officials had previously declined to testify and provided little information, a committee statement said.

Michael Fichera, owner of Health Choice, said he had told the committee he would cooperate with the investigation.

"I don't think there's anything wrong with the products we're selling," Fichera said in an interview. "We do a service. I think it's way more positive than negative."

He said users of his company's products, which include drinks and capsules, must be "clean" for two to three days before using them to pass a drug test.

"We're not beating or cheating on drug tests. We are just accelerating the cleansing time," Fichera said.

An official at Spectrum Labs did not immediately respond to a request for comment about the congressional action. A man who answered the phone at Puck Technology said no one was available to comment.

Posted at 12:00 AM

May 11, 2005

Buried within the recent appropriations bill authorizing more cash to support the troops was a small section conveniently kept silent by the Republicans who wrote it and supported it, a provision for a National ID Card. It was, in fact, so obscure and so well secreted that it received no notice or debate at all. None. And that would be bad enough if it weren't such a far-reaching provision.

The reality is that it has huge repercussions. Not only will it essentially be a required form of national identification ("Where are your papers. You must have papers1'), but it will require five forms of ID to get one and renew one. It will also make it incredibly difficult for immigrants and those seeking asylum to get such an ID or even citizenship. Of great concern to every state is that the security clearances and technologies required to issue these IDs will cost tens of millions of dollars to set up per state, something every cash-strapped state is unable to bear anytime in the foreseeable future. Arguments made that such an ID will prevent terrorism have been roundly debunked as the propaganda that they are. And of huge concern is the fact that the bill allows the Director of Homeland Security to make decisions that are immune to any judicial review, even by the Supreme Court, even if the decision violates the U.S. Constitution.

Does this scare you? It should. This is a dangerous new law that was passed without any debate and, largely, without most of Congress even knowing it was in that bill. There are a lot of people blogging about this and rightly so. A new world is dawning, and it looks like a fascist state.

A License for Overkill

The Sept. 11 commission recognized that driver's licenses have become de facto identification cards and that the requirements for acquiring them in many states are flimsy and unreliable. Some of the Sept. 11 hijackers used driver's licenses as identification to board the aircraft they commandeered.

Congress recognized this problem, too, when it passed an intelligence reform bill last December. One of its provisions was that state and federal officials would toughen up the requirements for obtaining a driver's license. Work on that provision had begun.

Unfortunately, Congress wasn't willing to see that effort through. On Tuesday, the Senate voted to approve the REAL ID Act, which would usurp some of the provisions of the intelligence reform bill and set very stringent new standards for granting driver's licenses. The REAL ID Act would also impose some tough requirements on people who seek asylum in this country from political persecution in their homelands. Fortunately, at the urging of Sen. Sam Brownback (R-Kan.), several of the more onerous asylum provisions were softened.

This page has strongly supported efforts to improve the nation's defense against terrorism, including some measures that have rankled civil libertarians. But in our view the REAL ID Act will do much more harm than good. It is an anti-immigration bill parading as a national security directive.

It would require that state department of motor vehicle clerks become, in effect, the nation's immigration police. The clerks would have to demand substantial proof that people are here legally and assess whether the documents submitted as proof are valid.

This would create an inconvenience for everyone--you can forget about going to the state office and walking out with a driver's license the same day. And it would create a major expense for the states. The new requirements, including worker training and a computer network for verification, would cost the states at least $100 million. Congress intends to set this mandate--and not provide a dime to pay for it.

The REAL ID Act also would effectively pre-empt the efforts of several states to resolve whether illegal immigrants should be permitted to drive legally. Nine states issue driver's licenses to them, reasoning that, legal or not, they're going to drive and for public safety it is better to have them licensed as capable of driving. That option would be foreclosed by the new federal rules. States could still do what Tennessee and Utah have done. Those states issue two types of driver's licenses, one for legal residents, the other for visiting foreigners and illegal immigrants. The second kind of license could not be used for identification purposes.

The legislation has now passed the House and Senate by wide margins and is headed to President Bush, who has promised to sign it. But the whole process has been unsettling. There was hardly any debate on the matter. The REAL ID Act was tucked into a mammoth appropriations measure to fund operations in Iraq and aid for victims of the South Asia tsunami. Those spending provisions needed to be approved.

So, unfortunately, the immigration provisions will be law. The best hope is that Congress might revisit these matters when it takes up immigration reform legislation proposed by Bush. This time, under the guise of protecting the nation, Congress got it wrong.

Posted at 10:06 PM

May 10, 2005

Oh, my back! Five days of yardwork and all I can say on the positive side is "It's done." That's not entirely true - it does look great and I probably won't have to do a lot of this stuff again all summer. Still, the sunburn, stiff neck, back pain, tiredness, and near-constant thirst hardly seems worth it.

Now I get to break my back putting together a garage sale. Joy.

Posted at 11:53 PM

May 9, 2005

You all smell like flowers!

Recent studies apparently show that gay men react to the scent of testosterone in similar ways to straight women, proving that there is a clear genetic element to homosexuality. Soon the evidence is going to be overwhelming - homosexuality is a result of genetics.

Sniffing Out Sexual Orientation

When confronted by a chemical from testosterone, the male hormone, portions of the brains active in sexual activity were activated in straight women and in gay men, but not in straight men...

(AP) Scientists trying to sniff out biological differences between gay and straight men have found new evidence — in scent.

It turns out that sniffing a chemical from testosterone, the male sex hormone, causes a response in the sexual area of gay men's brains, just as it does in the brains of straight women, but not in the brains of straight men.

"It is one more piece of evidence ... that is showing that sexual orientation is not all learned," said Sandra Witelson, an expert on brain anatomy and sexual orientation at the Michael G. DeGroote School of Medicine at McMaster University in Ontario, Canada.

Witelson, who was not part of the research team that conducted the study, said the findings show a biological involvement in sexual orientation.

The study, published in Tuesday's issue of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, was done by researchers at the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, Sweden.

They exposed heterosexual men and women and homosexual men to chemicals derived from male and female sex hormones.

These chemicals are thought to be pheromones — molecules known to trigger responses such as defense and sex in many animals.

Whether humans respond to pheromones has been debated, although in 2000 American researchers reported finding a gene that they believe directs a human pheromone receptor in the nose.

The Swedish study was one of a series looking at whether parts of the brain involved in reproduction differ in response to odors and pheromones, lead researcher Ivanka Savic said.

The brains of different groups responded similarly to ordinary odors such as lavender, but differed in their response to the chemicals thought to be pheromones, Savic said.

The Swedish researchers divided 36 subjects into three groups — heterosexual men, heterosexual women and homosexual men. They studied the brain response to sniffing the chemicals, using PET scans. All the subjects were healthy, unmedicated, right-handed and HIV negative.

When they sniffed smells like cedar or lavender, all of the subjects' brains reacted only in the olfactory region that handles smells.

But when confronted by a chemical from testosterone, the male hormone, portions of the brains active in sexual activity were activated in straight women and in gay men, but not in straight men, the researchers found.

The response in gay men and straight women was concentrated in the hypothalamus with a maximum in the preoptic area that is active in hormonal and sensory responses necessary for sexual behavior, the researchers said.

And when estrogen, the female hormone was used, there was only a response in the olfactory portion of the brains of straight women. Homosexual men had their primary response also in the olfactory area, with a very small reaction in the hypothalamus, while heterosexual men responded strongly in the reproductive region of the brain.

Savic said the group is also doing a study involving homosexual women but those results are not yet complete.

In a separate study looking at people's response to the body odors of others, researchers in Philadelphia found sharp differences between gay and straight men and women.

"Our findings support the contention that gender preference has a biological component that is reflected in both the production of different body odors and in the perception of and response to body odors," said neuroscientist Charles Wysocki, who led the study.

In particular, he said, finding differences in body odors between gay and straight individuals indicates a physical difference.

It's hard to see how a simple choice to be gay or lesbian would influence the production of body odor, he said.

Wysocki's team at the Monell Chemical Senses Center studied the response of 82 heterosexual and homosexual men and heterosexual and homosexual women to the odors of underarm sweat collected from 24 donors of varied gender and sexual orientation.

They found that gay men differed from heterosexual men and women and from lesbian women, both in terms of which body odors gay men preferred and how their own body odors were regarded by the other groups.

Gay men preferred odors from gay men, while odors from gay men were the least preferred by heterosexual men and women and by lesbian women in the study. Their findings, released Monday, are to be published in the journal Psychological Science in September.

The Swedish research was funded by the Swedish Medical Research Council, the Karolinska Institute and the Magnus Bergvall Foundation. Wysocki's research was supported by the Monell Center.

Posted at 9:23 PM

May 8, 2005

Mum's the word (so keep quiet about it).

I bought flowers and cards (for my mom and grandma, both of whom have been here since late Thursday night), and I fixed a turkey dinner with all the fixings. I've spent the last three days working on the yard, the flowers, and the grass, and hopefully my sunburn, stiff neck, and back pain count for something, too. Mother's Day is something I consider sort of a fake holiday in the first place (in the sense that it was a product of the greeting card industry), but I'm also rather uninspired because I never feel like my mom deserves a day of celebration for her performance at raising me. I accept the holiday, though, and I'm polite and thoughtful. Whoop de doo.

Posted at 11:41 PM

May 7, 2005

... and then Finian asked, "But Mother, teacher says there aren't any such thing as weeds. They're a specific type of plant, just one that you didn't really want."

Still sipping her tea, Mother turned a stern eye upon her young ward. "The you shall simply have to pull all of the plants I don't really want - now."

Posted at 10:47 PM

May 6, 2005

Most delightful indeed - a little less fanfare and a lot more chutzpah. After the war ...

Posted at 1:20 AM

May 5, 2005

"Ain't nothin' but a thing."

Posted at 11:00 PM

May 4, 2005

I wonder if I should start a program for ex-Breeders - you know, people who used to be straight but realized how much that lifestyle was destructive and disgusting and wrong. I could show people how they can be made to be gay so that they won't have to suffer being so sick.

Sound like I'm a lunatic? Certainly no more so than the people behind this latest crap.

Lawsuit Filed Over Sex Education Policy

GREENBELT, Maryland (AP) -- Two groups filed a federal lawsuit Tuesday to block a health curriculum that would allow discussions of homosexuality with eighth graders, and a video to be shown to sophomores demonstrating how to use a condom.

Citizens for a Responsible Curriculum and the Virginia-based Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays want to prevent Montgomery County from starting the program in six schools later this week. A hearing has been set for Thursday.

The new program, approved by the county board of education in November, would be used in all schools next year.

"In general, parents have been supportive of the curriculum," said spokesman Brian Edwards.

Parents must sign permission forms for their children to take part in the health curriculum and parents can sit in on the sessions. Families also can choose alternatives that include abstinence-only programs.

County educators say the changes were needed to teach students about the dangers of unprotected sex. However, those suing argue the county does not do enough to stress abstinence or allow people the groups describe as formerly gay to present their views.

Posted at 9:39 PM

May 3, 2005

Weezle woozle. My head hurts from studying.

Posted at 7:31 PM

May 2, 2005

Okay! I've finished my take-home final exam for my World War II history class. I still want to tweak it a bit before submitting it, but I'm pretty satisfied with both of the short papers ... err .. I mean essays. I also got all of my materials and study sheets set up for the other three exams, so that's a big plus.

I had hoped to be enough ahead of the game to be do some yard work today, but there just wasn't time. I guess it's not a big deal either considering it rained for the better part of the day. The grass and weeds are all going to be like a jungle by the time I get to them, though, I fear.

In other news, I promise that these extremely boring updates of how I'm doing with my schoolwork will end by Friday. I just haven't really had the time or energy to be thoughtful or creative or reflective, and these Journal entries have probably been pretty bland as a result. Give me a few days, and I promise I'll start making reading this damn thing worthwhile for you. Seriously.

Posted at 9:51 PM

May 1, 2005

I am so tired again today it's been hard to get much done. Figures. Just a week to go and it still has to be a struggle every minute.

I did have a cool talk with Kristina early in the afternoon, though. We've been playing phone tag for weeks, constantly missing each other, so it was cool to actually be here when she called. We talked for a while and caught each other up on what's going on in our lives. It's a good thing Kristina called or the whole day would have pretty much been a bust.

Posted at 11:01 PM

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