Journal Archives from theDreamworld ... January 2009

January 2009

January 31, 2009

I'd give anything for a noble cause to die for - a just and true action I could take to change things for the better, sacrificing myself so that others could live. I so want to be able to make a difference, and I so want to die. Surely there must be some way that I could do good ...

Posted at 8:43 PM

January 30, 2009

This all needs to end. All. Everything. Done.

I know I've had enough.

Posted at 9:00 PM

January 29, 2009

Here's to the migraine that won't go away. With pain like this who needs a lobotomy?

Posted at 8:06 PM

January 28, 2009

Shoveling snow is from the devil .

Posted at 11:19 PM

January 27, 2009

I was finally able to watch Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull tonight. I was interrupted a few times - which was exceptionally annoying but seems to be unavoidable for me anymore any time I try to watch a TV show or DVD that I'd like to enjoy - but I did get to watch the movie all the way through eventually, and I enjoyed it.

Like many people, I would have to say that the extra-dimensional aliens were a bit of a stretch, but if Indy can survive a fall of thousands of feet from a plane by riding an inflatable life raft that crashes and then slides down a snowy mountain top ... well, how much more of a stretch are aliens? If you put aside the alien issue, it was very much stock Indy: decent action, fairly constant plot escalation, storyline reversals, recurring villains, a look at an ancient culture that is deeply rooted in true real-life archaeology and history but tweaked a bit for convenience, a car chase or two (one of which with an unusual vehicle), fist fights, gun fights, capture, kidnapping, rescue, Indy's girl ... really, each of the movies has each of those things in very sim ilar forms. Add to that the consistent cinematic style and consistent lighting and staging and backdrop, and this movie readily flows with the other three.

Sadly it's not as good as Indy was in Raiders of the Lost Ark, but the truth is that none of the sequels have equaled the perfection of that first film. There were things in each of the sequels that were over the top or less than ideal, but they were still good fun, and this newest entry into the Indiana Jones saga fits the same mold.

As for Mutt, Indy's young adult son, I liked him. I can take Shia LaBeouf or leave him, but he was decent here. The "Easy Rider" tribute when he first appears was a bit ridiculous, but if you forget about that he was decent as a character and fairly believable in the role. In many ways he was a good addition to the film because Indy alone would have constantly highlighted Harrison Ford's age, and with LaBeouf at his side - even joking about his age - it diffused Indy's aged look and slower pace, and it allowed me as a viewer to accept Indy's age without any problems where on his own I think it would have been tough not to feel like it was time for Indy to retire.

And as for retiring, I have to wonder whether this is the last film or not. The movie doesn't have any "riding into the sunset" moment like its predecessor, and the two included documentaries on the DVD almost suggest Spielberg, Lucas, and Ford might be open to yet another if the situation is right. Would I look forward to another film in the series? Absolutely. Do I expect it soon? No. Maybe in another few years we might see one last run - maybe even an attempt to pass the torch to Mutt - but I think they'll sit on it for a few years at least. After six or seven more years, though, I'd have my doubts. Harrison Ford is still in good shape for his age, but with him being in his mid-sixties now, more than six or seven years from now doing an action movie just seems completely preposterous, regardless of how much CGI Spielberg and Lucas can conjure up. One more movie would be good, though. There hasn't been an Indy movie based in the Orient yet, and that would nicely round out his involvement in ancient civilizations. We'll just have to wait and see what develops, I guess. I'll be looking forward to it if it comes, though.

Posted at 11:39 PM

January 26, 2009

Life is exhausting.

Posted at 10:25 PM

January 25, 2009

Is it being over forty that's got me with more severe migraines and other pains in my body? Or is it something else? Is it the increased stress (thanks, Grandma)? Or what?

At least before in my life, when pretty much everything else was horrible and miserable - at least then I had my health. Now it's looking like I don't even have that ...

Posted at 7:37 PM

January 24, 2009

Okay - I was wrong yesterday. It's today that's the 25th anniversary of the debut of the Mac. But heck, something of this magnitude deserves at least two days of celebration.

The Mac has had a huge impact upon my life, both culturally and individually. Even now, after 25 years, it's still paving new ways to do things and leading the industry by example.

Here's to the next 25!

Posted at 7:08 PM

January 23, 2009

Today is the 25th anniversary of the debut of the Mac. I can't think of anything more worth celebrating.

Apple Fans Mark 25 Years of Mac Devotion

(CNN) -- Long before fish swam in Macquariums, hipsters got Apple logo tattoos and thousands camped out for days to get into computer store openings, there was a machine.

Danielle Brecker found this 1989 photo of friends on their Macs at Drexel University in Philadelphia.
1 of 3more photos »

Saturday marks the 25th anniversary of the original Macintosh, the first personal computer to draw masses, introduce the mouse and incorporate a graphical user interface, relying on images instead of text.

The Apple Inc. watershed product entered American consciousness amid fanfare, with a $1.5 million commercial, made by Ridley Scott, wowing audiences during Super Bowl XVIII. The piece's title, "1984," invoked author George Orwell's message and stood as a warning against conformity.

Two days after the ad ran, the Macintosh became available and life, as people knew it, changed. No longer were computers viewed as toys with which to play primitive games or as untouchable tools reserved for degreed engineers. We began to think different.

"The Macintosh demonstrated that it was possible and profitable to create a machine to be used by millions and millions of people," said Alex Soojung-Kim Pang, research director for the Institute for the Future, a Palo Alto, California, think tank, and chief force behind "Making the Macintosh: Technology and Culture in Silicon Valley," an online historical exhibit. "The gold standard now for personal electronics is, 'Is it easy enough for my grandmother to use it?' People on the Macintosh project were the first people to talk about a product in that way."

Pang, 44, remembered being "mesmerized" by the computer when he first saw it up close in his college bookstore. He wasn't alone. See iReporters share their Mac memories

For graphic designers like Zoë Korstvedt, now a Los Angeles creative director, the evolving Mac, with each added feature, was ripe with ah-ha moments.

To tinker with a piece, play with the text, "to visualize on your computer was just insane," she said. "My colleagues and I wonder how we did it [their jobs] before."

No wonder, then, that when Korstvedt, 44, married her first husband in 1989, she used half of their wedding money to buy her first home computer: a Mac SE/30, for which she forked over extra bucks for an upgrade to a whopping 8 megabytes of RAM. Nothing compared to the 12 gigs she now has. "I was styling," she said with a laugh.

Jeremy Mehrle, 30, of the St. Louis, Missouri, area is too young to know a world without Macs. This MacAddict began hoarding and tinkering with tossed-out computers, and then he discovered eBay. Today, the motion graphics designer's 1,400 square-foot basement is a museum to Apple computers, all-white and in gallery-style with about 80 fully-functioning machines on display.

"Some people think it's really cool. ... Others say 'It's Jeremy's thing, it's a little weird, whatever,'" he said. "I think if I had stacks everywhere, and you couldn't move in my house, people would be worried."

What's Mehrle's hobby, however, became a career for Dan Foust, 38, of Bloomington, Illinois. "Danapplemacman," as he's known on eBay, makes a living out of buying, and when necessary resuscitating, these computers before hawking them online to customers/collectors in places as far-flung as Italy and Australia.

So what would people pay for an original Macintosh?

"A complete boxed system?," he said. "I can't put a price on that."

The extremes to which people have gone in their love and loyalty for Apple (and specifically Macs) knows no bounds. Perhaps no one knows this better than Leander Kahney, news editor at Wired.com and author of Cult of Mac, as well as the more recently published Inside Steve's Brain. That would be Apple co-founder Steve Jobs' brain, of course.

From his phone in a San Francisco coffee shop, Kahney told tales of people allotting their limited vacation time to Macworld conferences, a man who has traveled to 40 Apple store openings and those who shaved Apple logos into their heads. As for the Apple tattoos, those, at first, really bothered him.

"I'm a bit of a leftie," he said. The idea of "corporate worship" didn't initially sit well with him -- although he's not afraid to admit his own obsession. "It's a very deep relationship people have with their computers. ... If the computer's not working, it's more important than the car breaking down."

Speaking of worship, Israeli filmmakers Ron and Kobi Shely created "MacHEADS: The Movie," a 50-minute documentary that'll be available next week on Amazon's video on demand service and, soon after, on iTunes. The film includes footage from The Church of Mac in Los Angeles, where a preacher and congregants gathered to glorify the computer at a service that ended with, "Praise Steve."

"Although we read a lot about the [Mac] phenomenon," Ron Shely said by phone from Tel Aviv of the two-year film project, "we didn't realize how big this social movement really is."

And that, beyond the products, is what has been so powerful about the Mac brand, said Peter Friess, president of The Tech Museum of Innovation in San Jose, California.

Steve Jobs "really has changed the world," Friess said. "You hardly find people who changed cultures. He changed culture."

Decades before Jobs' health became a topic of discussion, Friess was lucky enough to meet the man. At the time, German-born Friess was a lowly watchmaker, repairing clocks in the basement of Munich's Deutsches Museum, the largest science and technology museum in the world.

The year was 1984, and Friess thought a Macintosh might come in handy, so he called Apple Germany to see if he might be able to get one. The answer, as he recalled it, "'You're very lucky. Steve Jobs is in town. We'll come over and give you one.'"

Ever since, he's been amazed and exceedingly intrigued by every new computer. "My wife goes crazy," Friess, 49, admitted. "Every Apple computer I buy, the first thing I do is take it apart, just to see what's inside."

For Gary Allen, 61, of Berkeley, California, his interest is less inside than it is outside the company's stores. He runs ifoAppleStore.com, the first three letters taken from his police dispatch days, meaning "in front of."

The site's genesis dates back to 2001 when Apple store No. 9 opened, in Palo Alto, and he and his son went early. Way early -- as in the night before. The crowds, and natural community, grew on Allen, who began seeing new-found friends at other openings. They were like groupies chasing a band.

So he started a Web site, to help fans keep in touch, and soon other Apple enthusiasts began writing from across the globe, sharing tips about new stores, as well as testimonies and photos. The site, he said, averages about 4 million visitors a month.

Allen, who guessed he's been to 22 store openings so far, once stood in the rain for days in Tokyo so he could snag the first spot in line. He's seen old friends at openings in Germany and Italy. Last summer, he and his now 21-year-old son experienced what he called "the perfect storm," hitting Boston, Beijing and Sydney. Next stop: Paris.

He may not speak the same language as the thousands who surround him in these various cities, but that doesn't much matter when people speak the same language of computer love.

"Apple enthusiasts, it turns out," Allen said, "are the same wherever you go."

Posted at 8:01 PM

January 22, 2009

I need:

a) a winning lottery ticket

b) a personal assistant

c) a long, long vacation

d) a quick, painless death

- or -

e) some combination of the above

Although I must admit, option d does seem the most expedient.

Posted at 10:43 PM

January 21, 2009

It's easier to deal with an argumentative, disrespectful, self-righteous two- or three-year old than to deal with a 94-year old.

At least with the 2- or 3-year old you know that in time they'll gain a longer attention span, become less egotistical, choose their fights rather than scream that they're right and everyone else in the world is wrong, see their memory become stronger and stronger, develop and improve their reasoning skills, and they might even at some point take responsibility for themselves and their actions. The 94-year old, on the other hand, has already become harder to deal with than a 2- or 3-year old, and you can only expect them to get worse.

Welcome to my life.

Posted at 10:10 PM

January 20, 2009

Instant Karma
- John Lennon

Instant Karma's gonna get you
Gonna knock you right on the head
You better get yourself together
Pretty soon you're gonna be dead
What in the world you thinking of
Laughing in the face of love
What on earth you tryin' to do
It's up to you, yeah you

Instant Karma's gonna get you
Gonna look you right in the face
Better get yourself together darlin'
Join the human race
How in the world you gonna see
Laughin' at fools like me
Who in the hell d'you think you are
A super star
Well, right you are

Well we all shine on
Like the moon and the stars and the sun
Well we all shine on
Ev'ryone come on

Instant Karma's gonna get you
Gonna knock you off your feet
Better recognize your brothers
Ev'ryone you meet
Why in the world are we here
Surely not to live in pain and fear
Why on earth are you there
When you're ev'rywhere
Come and get your share

Well we all shine on
Like the moon and the stars and the sun
Yeah we all shine on
Come on and on and on on on
Yeah yeah, alright, uh huh, ah

Well we all shine on
Like the moon and the stars and the sun
Yeah we all shine on
On and on and on on and on

Well we all shine on
Like the moon and the stars and the sun
Well we all shine on
Like the moon and the stars and the sun
Well we all shine on
Like the moon and the stars and the sun
Yeah we all shine on
Like the moon and the stars and the sun

Posted at 10:57 PM

January 19, 2009

I have a dream, much like Dr. King did, and like Dr. King I have to wonder if I'll live to see that dream even begin to come true.

Posted at 11:32 PM

January 18, 2009

If I wanted subzero temperatures I'd live in Canada, thank you.

Posted at 11:17 PM

January 17, 2009

"As long people have friends to share their sadness, it becomes easier to bear."

- William Shakespeare

Posted at 5:13 PM

January 16, 2009

Life is miserable when each day's happiness depends upon a wish coming true.

Posted at 7:57 PM

January 15, 2009

Where is fancybread - in the heart or in the head?

Posted at 7:55 PM

January 14, 2009

KHAAAAANN!!!

Posted at 11:25 PM

January 13, 2009

As controversial as he can be, I've always respected Al Sharpton for always standing up for equality for all. His most recent speech includes some fantastic truths that surely many will not like to hear.

Sharpton Decries Churches Pushing Prop. 8

From the pulpit of Tabernacle Baptist Church on Sunday, Rev. Al Sharpton called out the Mormon Church and other conservative faiths for mobilizing to support Proposition 8 to ban gay marriage in California while refusing to be as involved in any other social concerns.

“It amazes me when I looked at California and saw churches that had nothing to say about police brutality, nothing to say when a young black boy was shot while he was wearing police handcuffs, nothing to say when the they overturned affirmative action, nothing to say when people were being delegated into poverty, yet they were organizing and mobilizing to stop consenting adults from choosing their life partners,” Sharpton told a packed audience on Jan. 11.

“There is something immoral and sick about using all of that power to not end brutality and poverty, but to break into people’s bedrooms and claim that God sent you,” Sharpton added.

Sharpton came to Atlanta to celebrate the launch of the Alliance of Affirming Faith-Based Organizations. Started by Rev. Dennis Meredith, who recently came out as bisexual, the Alliance includes Dr. Kenneth Samuel, pastor of Victory for the World Church; Rev. Paul Graetz of First Metropolitan Community Church; Rev. Geoffrey Hoare of All Saints Episcopal Church; and Rabbi Joshua Lesser of Congregation Bet Haverim.

During the First Annual Human Rights Ecumenical Service to launch the Alliance, Meredith laid out his vision for the new organization. The service for human rights will be held annually at a different church in Atlanta each year. Sharpton will serve as the national face of the organization and help to recruit new members, Meredith explained.

“We’re going to be the voice for those who cannot speak for themselves,” Meredith said. “If we have to go to a high school, we’ll go to a high school. If we have to go to a college, we’ll go to a college. … Somewhere there has to be a religious voice to counter the other religious voices that preach intolerance.”

Meredith said he hopes to raise enough money to hire an executive director who could see to the day-to-day operations of the Alliance while working to be a force for change.

In his remarks, Samuel preached against the idea that civil rights should not include gay rights.

“Martin Luther King Jr. lead a broad-based coalition, and those who claim that civil rights belong exclusively to black folks don’t know the history,” Samuel said.

“[King] used a methodology from India… brought to him by a black gay man, by the way, named Bayard Rustin. Even the song ‘We Shall Overcome’ was written by a white German, so I don’t know why in the world black folks think we have an exclusive claim to civil rights.”

Sharpton called out ministers who speak out against politically popular causes, but don’t have the courage to live their convictions.

“I am tired of seeing ministers who will preach homophobia by day, and then after they’re preaching, when the lights are off they go cruising for trade,” Sharpton said, his words generating a roar of response from the crowd.

He continued in his refrain that speaking out in support of Proposition 8 while remaining silent on issues like homelessness and poverty was an untenable position.

“We know you’re not preaching the Bible, because if you were preaching the Bible we would have heard from you,” Sharpton said. “We would have heard from you when people were starving in California, when they deregulated the economy and crashed Wall Street you had nothing to say. When [alleged Ponzi schemer Bernie] Madoff made off with the money, you had nothing to say. When Bush took us to war chasing weapons of mass destruction that weren’t there you had nothing to say. … But all of a sudden when Proposition 8 came out you had so much to say, but since you stepped in the rain, we gonna step in the rain with you.”

Posted at 11:59 PM

January 12, 2009

I'm feeling very melancholy today and yet I'm not really debilitated by my depression. I like new things as much as the next guy, but this just feels weird - it's so different.

Posted at 10:15 PM

January 11, 2009

Is black & white making a comeback in TV and film? I keep seeing newly-made black & white commercials and movies and TV dream sequences and all sorts of stuff. After years of shunning anything black & white will it finally come back and be used for the artistic edge it's long provided in photography?

Posted at 9:05 PM

January 10, 2009

Oh joy. A foot of snow and more, and more coming down all the time. Can't it just stop for a while after I've spent hours shoveling?

Posted at 10:07 PM

January 9, 2009

Missing you, Ken. You'd know what to tell me.

Posted at 6:36 PM

January 8, 2009

I feel miserable and hopeless.

What more can I write that won't just be unnecessary and unwanted expansion on that theme?

Posted at 12:17 AM

January 7, 2009

I'm thinking once again of how crappy I've become at posting anything here worth reading. The last year has been very full of anxiety and depression for me and my posts here have reflected my inability to write much of anything, no matter how long I stare blankly at the screen. As in the past, I wonder of I should drop down to posting once a week or just stop posting altogether. I'm reluctant to stop after all of these years, but what's the point of continuing if the minimal and useless drek I've produced over the past year is representative of what may continue to come.

I'd like to do more, but I just don't have it in me. Should I therefore do less and thereby produce less pointless entries? I'll seriously have to think about this more.

Posted at 11:19 PM

January 6, 2009

Ineptitude or dementia? You be the judge ...

Posted at 11:30 PM

January 5, 2009

Ninety-four is now equal to three.

Congratulations Grandma, you've regressed by nearly a century.

Posted at 11:45 PM

January 4, 2009

"LIfe is pain. Anyone that tells you otherwise is selling something."

Posted at 11:01 PM

January 3, 2009

Is there any way to make life have a point ?

Posted at 11:27 PM

January 2, 2009

Mmmm ... fish and chips. Why do I have a taste for that at 10:30 at night?

Posted at 10:32 PM

January 1, 2009

I spent most of yesterday and today playing computer games. It was fun and fairly relaxing (around checking up on my grandma and making sure she ate and took her pills and such), but it was still a pale shadow of my now-long-defunct Annual New Year's D&D All-Nighter Party that I used to host.

Twenty years I did that, putting together quite a treat for my friends and fellow gamers and geeks. But it all broke down eight years ago and nobody wanted to come at all, all claiming other obligations. That would have been fine for some guests - most even, since some people showed up one year but not another - but for everybody to cancel destroyed the whole idea of a party. And not long after that (although due to other issues) I had my breakdown, and I spent the next couple of years just relearning how to be around anyone at all, let alone hosting a party for a large number of people. Even then, though, I longed for my party ... and now that I'm able to survive emotionally with more than one or two people near me it's too late it seems, and the past few years have just left me sadly nostalgic for something that once gave me very great pleasure.

So today was nice. Relaxing. Fun. Distracting. But still a shadowy substitute and a distinct reminder of what has passed and will never be again.

Posted at 4:01 AM