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| message board June 2011
Where's the love? Posted at 9:18 AM
Is Obama really as stupid and as much of a liar as he has made himself seem to be during his residency? He painted a totally different image in the campaign than what he has brought forth during his tenure, and what we've seen during that tenure is hard to believe. It's hard to believe he's not a complete idiot ... or a Republican ... or just a huge asshole. But if he's not one or all of those things then why make it seem that way? Posted at 11:51 AM
Whatcha got? Anything? Can ya give me anything? 'Cause I got nothin'. Posted at 9:34 AM
I don't even think the days of extreme senility - like today - would be so bad if it weren't for te fact that my grandma has days (or sometimes just hours) of lucidity and normalcy. If she were just senile all the time it would be a matter of adapting and working through things. With these occasional glimpses of sanity - these glimpses into the past - it's difficult not to be smacked in the face with how much worse it is for her and for me. Posted at 11:00 AM
This is exhausting. No breaks. No days off. No vacation. Not even any sick days. Now I don't even get the minimal help I was getting either. My mother has now announced that her visit during the first week of June will be for only four days, not a week, and she'll be going out one of those evenings with a friend. So I get three and a half days after having had no help from anybody else for over three months. My mother notes that she'll be back in late July for a school reunion, but she'll only visit a couple evenings out of that. and then I probably won't see her again until late September for my grandma's birthday. That means she'll have helped about four or five days during a six month period. How generous. I realize the limitations of things here - believe me I do - but this is too aggravating. And what should I do? I can't even figure out how to get away for a day or two to go to my dentist in Indiana, let alone visit friends or take some time off. I could suggest that a full-time professional caregiver be hired for a week, but I see no reason to think that will get a green light. I could send my grandma to day care one to three more days a week so that I at least could get a chance to rest - since right now the two days at day care only really give me time to rush around and do errands - but of course there's no money for more days of day care, and I certainly can't expect any more financial contributions from the family to help. They're too busy spending money on clothes and travel and new bathroom tiles. Ugh. Posted at 9:31 AM
MY BEES!!! Posted at 11:21 AM
Where's my pig?! Posted at 1:06 PM
A pickle for your thoughts ... Posted at 9:55 AM
So now my grandma has a three inch long skin tear along her right forearm that she got while at the adult day care center. Isn't it possible to have a break between wounds? Wasn't it enough that her blood-thinner made bruises pop up here, there, and everywhere, but now we have open wounds to deal with. I don't blame the day care people. The skin on my grandma's arms is very fragile and thin in her old age, and particularly where there has been bruising the skin seems to loosen from the flesh. Then she falls and bumps it or - as they think happened in this case - she pulled the skin too taught, and the skin tears like tissue paper. And it is really just the skin because it hardly even bleeds. The skin just separates in a fairly straight tear and is like a flap, kind of like after a blister has burst. It's strange in its way and hard to get used to, but this is apparently common in the elderly, and it doesn't hurt or bleed (more than a very, very small bit, so it's not too bad. The biggest concern now is keeping it clean and keeping the 'flap' closed to it can knit back together and heal. My grandma is on blood thinners, and that makes you have less platelets, the things that cause your blood to clot and scab over. With it barely bleeding at all in the first place and then that not really coagulating and solidifying, it can take a bit to get a solid seal so the wound can heal. I'm (sadly) getting more and more used to how to handle this, but this is three times as big as any wound she's had yet, so I'm far from unconcerned. It's never a dull day here. I wish it was. I could use dull. Dull would be great. Dull would be wonderful. Dull, dull, dull. Posted at 11:23 AM
Must. Have. Sleep. Posted at 9:16 AM
Damn! Damn! Damn! Posted at 10:13 AM
Hell exists. Come visit. Posted at 10:04 AM
Is it so much to ask to be able to sleep the night through anymore? Posted at 8:32 AM
Andrew Sullivan has been discussing the right to die with his readers and one reader responded with his feelings that even the normal right to die folks don't support people who are suffering from mental illness, specifically severe depression. He hits my feelings squarely on the mark, and the views expressed by other readers also almost invariably sound like they are spoken from my own mouth (see here, here, and here). When you tell someone you're depressed, the last thing you want, need, or can stand to hear is, "You're depressing to be around" (Thank you Tammi), or "You just need to cheer up" (Thank you, Steve), or some other ridiculous thing that just shows that the person saying those things not only has no idea what you're going through but also shows that they don't care enough to listen to what you're telling them you're feeling - or if they do listen then it shows they don't care enough to take you seriously or give a damn about your welfare. With that said, some people are very concerned and supportive (Thank you, John, Sarah, and Chris and Chris and Chris (and I mean that thank you heart-felt, not sarcastically as above)). Unfortunately that doesn't cure the problems, and talking really doesn't make any of it go away - in fact sometimes it makes things worse because the best thing to often do is keep busy and NOT think about how depressed you are. Nonetheless, the concern of people you know is the true mark of a friend, and no matter how little it may help, it is greatly appreciated. Posted at 11:06 AM
The eczema on my right hand may just kill me before my grandma (although she's indirectly the cause of it in the first place). Posted at 8:43 AM
This site really needs updates. Even without the long overdue and much wanted and needed revisions to a new version with a new look and all of the features I've been missing for so long - even without all of that, the site still just needs a lot of fixes to broken links or new and more interesting links. I'm still adding a Journal entry daily, but there's rarely all that much to that, and much more is needed. Time, of course, is against me. I need time to find and fix these problems - along with patience - and that's all in short supply lately. Don't go thinking I don't care about the problems with this website because you would be mistaken. I do care, and I do want this to be much better. I just can't find the time to do it. Patience, gentle reader. I'm aware that improvements are needed. I don't know when I'll get to it but I will. You have my promise on that. Somehow I will find the time for this ... it just might take a little while. Posted at 11:10 AM
I'm getting too old for this. (... and by this I mean everything...) Posted at 9:18 AM
Gibbly gubully beeblebrox cad furnum. Oooh! Look at me! I'm speaking in tongues! Now send me money. (That's how this works, isn't it?) Posted at 11:01 AM
I miss the old - even at times clunky - Doctor Who. The new stuff is flashy and fun, but it misses the more real feel of the classic stuff. You used to be able to almost believe everything you saw was happening but hushed up from the press. In the new series, though, it's much more fairy tale and much more hope and wishes over science; it's much more flirting and campiness than it is stories that make you think and wonder and consider as, if not real then at least possible in the future. I miss the believability. I miss the Doctor that was a smart and daring man doing things by the seat of his pants, not the magician who can fix things with love and hope, all the while be smug about the wonderfulness of himself. I miss the good stuff. I miss the Classics. Posted at 11:00 AM
Moo. Posted at 10:21 AM
Can the Republicans possibly field any more complete idiots in the presidential race? Haven't they put up the worst humanity has to offer already? Posted at 11:04 AM
When's it supposed to get good? Posted at 9:07 AM
The fun just never ends in these hallowed halls ... Yesterday, after my grandma got back in the late afternoon from adult day care, she fell as I was helping her into the bathroom. The bathroom is small, awkward, and as much as I've tried to keep things safe - still has been an accident waiting to happen. She fell quickly and hard before I could grab her and she hit her head, either on the wooden doors of the sink's vanity or on the knobs of said doors. Whatever she hit, she opened a cut in the back of her head and it bled like a river unleashed. I tried to mop up the blood until the flow slowed, but it was rapidly apparent that wasn't happening any time soon, so I called the ambulance and off we went to the hospital. A little over five hours later (which seemed like forever but was probably a record for the ER) I had my grandma back home, still a bit bloodied and with six new stitches, but without any pain and a wonderful disposition all things considered. I got her cleaned up and to bed then drove out to fill the Vicodin prescription at the one pharmacy I was told would be open - only to find it closed. So with none of the six - count them, six - Vicodin pills, I just had to hope that my grandma wouldn't be in any pain until well into the morning. Why the hospital itself couldn't scrounge up six whole pills is beyond me. Fortunately my grandma has come through this as though just about nothing has happened. She has a mild, dull ache in the back of her head that she notices but which isn't troubling her; she has no ache or pain at all from the tetanus shot she was given, and even though she got a couple hours less sleep than usual, she is alert and with it. You just never can figure out how anything will affect her, that's true now as ever. So, last night was miserable, but so far things look okay today. Hopefully that will hold true. I honestly can't take this kind of excitement. Posted at 11:14 AM
The air conditioner in the front room is now dead and just blowing in the very hot, humid air, so now I have to get a new one to replace it. I'm beginning to wonder if I'll be replacing every appliance in the house if I'm still here for another year or two. The number of old appliances that have given up the ghost are adding up fast while the available cash is disappearing even faster. It's craziness, I tell you, craziness. Posted at 9:20 AM
Soon as you know it, Bob's your uncle. Posted at 10:45 AM
Logan's Run wasn't really so implausible ... Posted at 10:17 AM
Find me a cave to hide away and die. That sounds so, so peaceful. Posted at 10:54 AM
There needs to be more time in the day. Get on that, please. Posted at 10:47 AM
Mmmm ... white chili ... Posted at 11:37 AM
Why? Why? Why? Posted at 11:15 AM
Journal, by Paul Cales, © June 2011
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June 30, 2011
