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| message board September 2011
A river of piss, a mountain of shit, a flailing lunatic, and me. How did I ever get myself into this situation? Posted at 11:22 AM
Today ended my mother's one-week visit. She left before dawn today, and part of me is happy to go back to the familiar routine of things but part of me will miss her. It was nice to have someone with a fully working brain to talk to for one thing. I don't want that to sound mean, but the dementia my grandma suffers makes her sometimes a bit crazy, and her faded memory makes it hard to talk about even things that have happened to her in her life at times - her memory gets so bad at times that there's just nothing left. So a live person to talk to was nice. The big thing I'll miss was that my mom fixed meals for my grandma and cleaned up afterward. I typically make my grandma's meals, set them in front of her and get her going, go upstairs and fix my meal and eat it quickly, go back downstairs and push my grandma to eat more of her meal, go back upstairs to wash things up, go back downstairs to push my grandma to eat more, then wash her up, wash the table and dishes and everything else where she's spread the food around, and then get her to the bathroom. Honestly each meal is a big deal - so having my mom cook and clean for my grandma's meals for a week was a nice treat. She even fixed a couple meals where I ate with them, and who can argue about a free home-cooked meal? I also benefited from my mother being able to keep an eye on my grandma regularly. I usually have to check on my grandma every ten to fifteen minutes around whatever else I'm doing, and while that's necessary it makes things difficult. Even just watching TV gets to be a chore around checking on her. So my my staying with her helped me, and it was also nice for my grandma because my mom could go through old photo albums and know who people were (which is not the case for me - I don't know all of the people in older photos, and those are the photos my grandma likes and remembers the best). Anyhow, it was a nice visit, and while not the kind of real, complete break I need from taking care of my grandma, it was still a bit more relaxing than the usual routine. Posted at 9:34 AM
I need a break. Posted at 11:29 AM
Happy Birthday, Grandma! Ninety-seven and still going strong! Posted at 10:22 AM
I went to Toledo today to test drive cars (more on the background for that later). I test drove five cars in Toledo and would have tried out four more but they didn't have any of the models I wanted on their lots - not even just with the features I wanted but in any way (i.e., no Civics at all at Honda. Is that crazy or not?). I was able to evaluate the cars quite well, particularly driving them all the same day. I would have loved to have driven the three Honda models I wanted to try - that would have largely rounded out the cars I most wanted to compare directly. Instead I now have to wait for weeks before any of the Hondas I want to try even get near the dealership. Is that crazy or what? Posted at 8:05 PM
Why must this migraine be so much more incredibly intense and painful the last three days? And why can't it let up? It's bad enough I'm tired, but this crushing pain in my head is draining me of all strength. Posted at 10:26 AM
BACON! Posted at 10:09 AM
I am constantly amazed that five million different sizes and types of cushions have been made for wheelchair seats but nobody has designed a simple device that holds someone in a standing position. This isn't rocket science, folks - even I can think of how to design one. I'd just prefer to buy one that's already made, tested, and functional. Posted at 11:29 AM
Soooooooooooooooooo tired ... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ... Posted at 9:15 AM
I fully support efforts to help young gay kids and kids who are bullied so that they have support and can persevere, but telling them "It gets better" is a lie. Have you noticed that the people who do these "It Gets Better " videos are all famous and/or successful? Yes, it did get better - FOR THEM! Where are the people who didn't strike it rich or land that great acting job or get picked up in the freshman draft for some sport? Huh? I'll tell you where - they're slaving away trying day to day to survive, and let's be clear: it doesn't necessarily get better. That doesn't mean there aren't reasons to live and strive, but just saying "It Gets Better" like that's universally true is deceptive and inadequate. These kids need help, not dishonesty, no matter how well-intentioned. Find a better way to help them. Lying is not the way. Posted at 11:15 AM
With people who are this in touch with their constituents, why would anyone have a lack of faith in government or doubt that their representatives understand the plight of the common man? Posted at 9:01 AM
If there were three of me then I could manage. HURRY UP CLONING SCIENTISTS!! I NEED DUPLICATES NOW!! Posted at 10:08 AM
Down, down, down. Posted at 10:04 AM
I love a clean house but I loathe cleaning. Posted at 10:16 AM
How did it all come to this? Posted at 10:12 AM
So utterly tired ... Posted at 8:58 AM
My grandma's first floor toilet has been leaking for nearly two weeks, and it may finally be - possibly - fixed. The Friday before last it first started, a small but substantial puddle of water on the bathroom floor. I mopped it up thinking it might be just something that splashed from the sink during the last time I had my grandma in there. Looking back in a couple hours later proved that wrong. Being late Friday I didn't figure I could get a plumber out until the following Monday - short of a constant flow of water doing damage, and closing the shut-off valve and draining the toilet kept the problem to a minimum. Of course doing that over and over throughout the day after every time I took my grandma to the bathroom got old fast. And it wasn't simple once Monday rolled around. The plumbers couldn't get someone out until the following week! So I presevered with the draining the toilet routine until yesterday when, late in the day, I found a message on the house phone from the plumber. They didn't call my cell phone as I'd asked, so I missed the call and had another day's delay until today. So this morning the plumber called, came over, wasn't fully sure of the problem but changed the wax ring and all seemed good ... until I took my grandma to the bathroom again and hour or so later and found a new puddle of water. So the plumber returned without much delay and we put on a new wax ring - and then found a very minor leak from a bolt at the bottom of the tank that may well be the culprit (or at least I hope it is because I don't want to keep having to fuck around with this). So hopefully all is fixed. We'll see the next time I take my grandma to the bathroom, I imagine. Ugh. Why is it always such a drama? Posted at 2:21 PM
Five hours of sleep is definitely not enough. How am I even alive? Posted at 8:47 AM
WILL WORK Posted at 9:59 AM
I certainly don't intend to demean the victims of the 9/11 attacks, but honestly, folks, the constant return to victimization through media overexposure had only just begun to fade and now we go back to full tilt for the tenth anniversary of the attacks. Let it go, folks. Yes, it was terrible. Yes, we should learn lessons from what happened. Yes, we should try to prevent future such attacks. But no, we should not make ourselves cry every day as if that somehow helps. And no, we should not make ourselves feel like victims waiting for the next attack. And no, we shouldn't give up our civil liberties or our freedom or our peace and prosperity. The constant fear is destroying us individually and as a whole far better than a million well-placed bombs could ever do. Let it go. That is how you can best respect the passage of ten years and how you can best respect the lives that were lost on that morning. Let it go. Posted at 9:54 AM
Staying awake is tiring work. Posted at 10:02 AM
The woman is going to kill me. Posted at 10:49 AM
So tired. So tired of life. So tired of living. Posted at 8:54 AM
Bob. Posted at 9:59 AM
I had the longest night of sleep last night I think I've managed in months and yet I'm still dead tired. This will never get better, will it? Posted at 9:05 AM
Hmmm ... what to right ... Posted at 11:26 AM
Aches, pains, exhaustion, frustration, depression, hopelessness ... is it any wonder I whine as much as I do in this Journal? Posted at 10:15 AM
Is Lion-O a pimp?
Posted at 10:47 AM
Such a crappy week. Such a crappy life. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah ... Posted at 11:00 AM
Stupid migraine! Stupid wrist pain! Stupid stiff neck! Stupid exhaustion! Stupid jitters! So much stupid in me ... what does that suggest? Posted at 9:13 AM
Journal, by Paul Cales, © September 2011
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