Journal Archives from theDreamworld ... August 2009

August 2009

August 31, 2009

Another month moves to its end, seeing me more aching, tired, stressed, depressed, and full of migraines than it seems like I could have possibly been just a month ago; and as the month draws to a close my grandma becomes even further detached from reality, further unable to be an active participant in any conversation, further along in her Anorexic delusions and her frightening weight loss, and further entrenched in her transformation from a sweet, demure woman to a raging, bullheaded, crotchety adversary to anyone who comes near her.

What a way to mark the passage of time.

Posted at 7:37 PM

August 30, 2009

The pain ... the pain.

These migraines are making me talk like Dr. Smith ...

Posted at 8:44 PM

August 29, 2009

I'm quite screwed no matter what happens at this point. Short of winning the lottery (which is less likely than my being struck by lightning and even if it were to happen not the solution for all of my problems) -- there are no possible outcomes that are even the least bit positive for the short-term or the long-term.

Joy.

Posted at 6:31 PM

August 28, 2009

"You tried and you failed. The lesson to be learned here is -- don't try."

Posted at 8:50 PM

August 27, 2009

If somebody is considered "a cool cucumber" does that mean they're "seedy" as well?

Posted at 6:29 PM

August 26, 2009

A great man has come to his end ... and the world will forever be less than it was or could have ever been.

Rest well , Ted.

Posted at 7:34 PM

August 25, 2009

For a while there I'd been reading a book a day every day. Then my depression swelled a couple weeks ago and I haven't been able to get myself to read even part of a chapter. I want to read more books ... but I just can't do it.

Posted at 11:35 PM

August 24, 2009

There goes the zircon for my belly button ...

Posted at 7:15 PM

August 23, 2009

Hey, jackass - when you ASSUME you make an ASS of yoU and ME. Does your pea brain have the ability to understand that?!

Posted at 6:01 PM

August 22, 2009

Why don't more people kill themselves? Seriously. Life sucks. The world is a mess of selfish, hateful people who enjoy fucking each other over -- why don't more people kill themselves so as not to have to deal with this miserable hell? I'll be damned if I can figure it out ...

Posted at 8:05 PM

August 21, 2009

Anybody got some extra patience lying around that you're not using ...

Posted at 9:58 PM

August 20, 2009

Nibble, nibble, little mouse - who's that nibbling on my house?

Posted at 8:43 PM

August 19, 2009

Go Barney!

Posted at 12:09 AM

August 18, 2009

You'd have to read closely in the local paper to realize that Bowling Green - the home of my college alma mater - passed a very comprehensive and inclusive anti-discrimination bill last night. Surely I would never have known if I hadn't read about it on a blog that I rarely follow. I'm glad I know, though. It's a strong start in the right direction, even though Ohio has enshrined the most discriminatory state-wide anti-gay statues and constitutional amendments of any state.

Bowling Green Banned Discrimination in Employment, Public Accommodation and Housing

Yesterday, we had a setback when the Mayor of Anchorage vetoed an anti-discrimination ordinance. But, yesterday, progress was made in Ohio. Bowling Green banned discrimination yesterday in several key areas -- and the new laws are inclusive. From Equality Ohio's press release:

At the standing room only Bowling Green City Council meeting on Monday evening, August 17, 2009, Council members voted with bi-partisan support to enact a Human Rights Ordinance banning discrimination in Bowling Green based on sexual orientation and gender identity in employment and public accommodation. The ordinance passed 6-1. A separate ordinance banning discrimination in housing passed unanimously.

"To all of you who have written letters, talked to your neighbors, talked at council meetings, and been willing to stand up for justice and equality.....THANK YOU!" said Equality Bowling Green representative, Jane Rosser, "everyone has brought great energy and commitment to this campaign, and we have created change in our community. Now we have to be prepared to protect the ordinances and to continue the work of educating."

"Having watched the people of Bowling Green work hard on this ordinance for nearly a year now, I am truly inspired by the hard work, planning and dedication of Equality Bowling Green and Council member John Zanfardino," said Equality Ohio Program Manager, Kim Welter. "We were proud to offer our support to Equality Bowling Green's efforts."

Bowling Green joins Toledo, Columbus, Cincinnati, Dayton, Oxford, Yellow Springs as the seventh city in Ohio to enact a fully inclusive law. There are an additional ten cities that protect based on sexual orientation only.

Posted at 6:13 PM

August 17, 2009

Nothing worth doing is worth doing.

Posted at 8:17 PM

August 16, 2009

Brouhaha versus Moo-Wah-ha-ha! versus Ha-ha! versus Aha! versusHa!

The English language continues to amaze ...

Posted at 9:45 AM

August 15, 2009

My head can't possibly hurt any more without exploding.

Posted at 7:24 PM

August 14, 2009

I feel like I'm close to drowning in problems, debt, stress, depression, and hopelessness. I'm completely at a loss for how to improve or resolve any part of this, and if it weren't for my responsibility to my grandma I don't think I could move or even breathe.

Posted at 6:51 PM

August 13, 2009

How many times can the power go out this summer? Seriously, it's not even that hot.

Posted at 7:54 PM

August 12, 2009

Why don't I die?

Posted at 9:48 PM

August 11, 2009

Tell me again ... how is this supposed to be a break?

Posted at 9:44 PM

August 10, 2009

What to do when love has died
Hope long gone, dark tears cried?

Posted at 12:00 AM

August 9, 2009

Who needs enemies when you have family?

Posted at 9:37 PM

August 8, 2009

Do people that look forward to tomorrow see into the future?

<Am I an asshole for playing with semantics?>

Posted at 9:56 PM

August 7, 2009

A miracle would be helpful right about now ... or at least a massive stroke of luck.

Posted at 8:20 PM

August 6, 2009

Why have I not gone completely insane yet?

Posted at 7:21 PM

August 5, 2009

Happy birthday, nephew mine.

Fourteen - damn that makes me feel old.

Posted at 8:19 PM

August 4, 2009

It's bad enough to have to spend all morning and most of the afternoon pushing my grandma to get cleaned up and dressed and fed before heading to a late afternoon appointment - she at least has the excuse of being nearly ninety-five years old, slow-moving, and slow-thinking - but it is beyond inexcusable to have a routine eye exam take a whole two and half fucking hours! As frustrated and stressed as I get from the complications of taking care of an aging, deteriorating woman, I become even more stressed and aggravated by the variety of idiots that I'm - for one reason or another - forced to deal with in this podunk, hopeless town.

Posted at 10:23 PM

August 3, 2009

The depression started washing back in a few days ago (not all at once fortunately); then migraines two days ago; and now that my sister, nephew and niece have gone, I'm really just completely exhausted - beyond just the expected. This is how it always ends, you know - with a whimper, not with a bang.

Posted at 9:01 PM

August 2, 2009

They're gone ... and the house is much more empty.

Posted at 8:40 PM

August 1, 2009

Dream world ... but not really theDreamworld.

Posted at 11:31 PM