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| message board June 2009
I love the sparkly, fresh, smooth pleasures of a clean house. It's a shame that I so strongly dislike cleaning. Posted at 9:48 PM
"Yes, Eleanor, there is a Senile Clause." Posted at 10:11 PM
I haven't been feeling well because I've had minimal sleep, largely due to the unbearable heat, and every time I would just start to fall asleep in a nap or even in the middle of the night, my grandma would call me on the intercom or bang a door or whatever - so she could make sure I was okay (although after making clear a few hundred times that letting me get some sleep would help me be okay, one has to wonder if she isn't really just a sadist). Finally, late last night I fell into a solid sleep - but of course that couldn't last because my mom (called by my grandmother the nag the night before) woke me up early this morning to see if I was alright! I would normally have been up for an hour or so by that time in the morning, but not on a Sunday after three sleepless days and nights. And who the hell calls people at 9 in the morning unless they're calling a business number anyway? Will I ever get to sleep again, I wonder? I seriously have my doubts. Posted at 6:07 PM
Nag, nag, Nag, NAG, NAG, NAG!! Can you possibly just shut the fuck up? Can you? Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Posted at 9:45 PM
The woman is simply insane (in the membrane, yo). Posted at 9:18 PM
Still waiting for that miracle ... Posted at 6:13 PM
Getting heat stroke inside - who'd have thought it possible? Posted at 10:16 PM
She lies, she hides things, she won't do anything you ask her, she makes lame excuses to try to get out of taking responsibility, she throws tantrums, she argues against even the smallest suggestions - saying that an elderly person has entered their second childhood seems so mild and non-threatening compared to the reality. If only someone had made this clear beforehand ... Posted at 8:28 PM
I could sleep for days at a time (and I should). Of course I'm not allowed luxuries like sleep ... or peace ... or security ... or support ... or encouragement ... or ... Posted at 8:09 PM
Ghostbusters holds up really well after all these years. The CGI is pretty crap in some places, but it's mostly okay, and the acting and one-liners are still hilarious, even when you know what's coming. It makes me look forward to the rumored possibilities of a new sequel. Posted at 6:23 PM
It burns! (Well ... maybe that's an exaggeration, but it's really hot and humid ... seriously) Posted at 11:09 PM
Help! It's hot and humid and I can't afford to run the air conditioning! Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! Posted at 11:24 PM
Is it true that lack of sleep causes insomnia? Posted at 12:37aM
I have a warranty that's running out (like, in a week or so) and a part that has been on order for over a month and a half (supposedly because it's out of stock, but since it's a replacement fan for an air conditioner, I find it hard to believe it can be out of stock so long - I mean, wouldn't you think this is one of the most often replaced parts in the whole thing, and wouldn't you think they'd be making new ones pretty regularly?). The follow-up call I made this morning (the fifth since I"ve started playing this waiting game) is the most exciting part of my day. How sad is that? Posted at 11:05 PM
LIfe is just a game ... and most of the time the server's down. Posted at 9:49 PM
When Mondays get to be as over-full and complicated as Fridays, there is no doubt that the end is near. Posted at 8:36 PM
A whole day doing yardwork; a whole day washing laundry; a whole day getting my grandma ready for an appointment; a whole day getting my grandma ready for an appointment; a whole day getting my grandma ready for an appointment; a whole day getting my grandma ready for an appointment. My life sucks. Posted at 9:05 PM
Pain ... pain ... pain ... Posted at 5:58 PM
Hey! Did you know that my grandma can get by with one piece of dry toast for a whole day, and she not only feels full but has all of the sustenance she requires? Did you? Yeah, I didn't know that either ... But she's sure of it ... and nobody can tell her otherwise. (And this is why I have to treat her like a child ... this and many, many, many other similar issues) Posted at 9:24 PM
The only thing you can expect from my grandmother is the unexpected. What she makes clear is impossible one day (okay, many days) out of the blue becomes achievable. Things you were sure would never occur again repeat themselves - a unique event unbelievably duplicating. I'd be much more content with some consistency, even if it made things a bit more difficult. The way things are now is much more stressful because you simply can't ever plan for anything and you can't know what will make things improve or what will make them worse. Oy! It's maddening! Posted at 11:38 PM
It's amazing that as much as I like watching Food Network - and as much as I love to eat - I really don't care that much for cooking. I can find my way around a kitchen alright (as the tired axiom goes), and I can even produce decent eats, but I just don't have the interest in learning more culinary skills or spending more time in the kitchen. Posted at 9:44 PM
My grandmother could have her own show on FOX News Channel. Just like them, she seems to be listening to you and involved in a conversation, only to suddenly choose just a few words or a phrase from an entire conversation and repeat them in isolation, giving them her own meaning based upon her dementia and not remotely on any of the original context that was present when the whole conversation was given. It absolutely boggles the mind that you can have a conversation with her, repeating whole diatribes multiple times, and she grabs a sliver of the whole and makes it something with no connection to the original. It would be bad enough if the problem was her short-term memory or her poor hearing. At least then it could be corrected. But again like FOX News, she holds doggedly determined that she knows what she is talking about, refusing to accept that she is mistaken, regardless of how often you repeat the whole conversation, how well you rephrase things to eliminate any confusion, or how many witnesses you have to assure her that she is indeed getting things wrong. Ah, the fun times she brings ... Posted at 8:43 PM
I don't know if I can keep doing this for much longer. My grandma is getting more and more argumentative, and I've lost any patience I might have once had. My grandma is getting so hard to deal with that it is now almost impossible to get her to anything outside of the house, no matter how late in the afternoon it is scheduled. Considering some of these excursions are necessary doctor appointments, we're reaching a point where I may have to accept defeat. If I can't get her to let me help her get ready and off to doctor's appointments then I can't assure her good health any more - any that means she'd be better off somewhere else. Posted at 9:34 PM
Posted at 10:05 PM
Oh ... mmm ... uhh ... what now? Posted at 9:48 PM
So tired. Why can't I sleep right? Posted at 7:47 PM
I hate it when my Internet provider makes changes to their servers. Every time they do things like this (not that they usually admit it until at least the third tech support call) they screw up my e.mail so that nothing comes through. I've missed about three to five days of mail because of their screwing around this time, and this time any messages that came during the downtime are irretrievable to me. Does that suck or what? So after spending hours fucking around with resetting each of my e.mail addresses to work with the changed server, I missed dinner, lost at least two very important e.mails, and gained a huge migraine. And to think, I'm paying for this ... Posted at 11:55 PM
Why is it that the volume is different on every channel of the TV if you're using cable, but if you use an antenna the volume is fairly consistent? Posted at 10:43 PM
The possibility of experiencing miracles changes - at least perceptually - when you become a caregiver for a very elderly person. Today, a miracle happened. My grandma was ready in time to leave for her mid-afternoon doctor's appointment. In fact she was even ready a bit early! Disregard the fact that I kept pushing her to be ready by Noon even though the appointment wasn't until 3:15. And disregard the fact that she wasn't ready until 2:15. The important thing is that she was ready before we needed to leave. That was indeed a miracle. Posted at 10:37 PM
Did I forget something today? Posted at 11:59 PM
Journal, by Paul Cales, © June 2009
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June 30, 2009
